The Day Before
Richard and I arrived in Windsor, CA at Windsor High School for check in and a meeting on Friday. That process was not well run, and check-in took a long time. I had plenty of time to stand in line assessing the other competitors. I felt intimidated looking at people who seemed 10x more in shape than I felt. I was amazed at the variety in ages and body types walking around. But I also felt like everyone else looked relaxed and confident and I was freaking out on the inside.
After the meeting we went out with my Mom and Carlie to drive some of the race route. One other person I knew who was racing was a girl I 'met' 2 weeks earlier in an online triathlete's forum (trifuel.com). Kim and I had been emailing obsessively the last 2 weeks, sharing anxiety and strategy (such as it was) and concerns and questions and encouragement. Kim was not only doing her first IM, she was doing her ever triathlon. Very impressive!
The ride on the route was incredibly valuable. There were a few critical elements in the race that were important to see ahead of time. You would not want to be blind-sided by some of the turns and hills. There was one hill on the end of the bike loop we did not see that was an ass-kicking, and I wish I had seen it ahead of time; it's an important part of race preparation.
Viewing the hills did a lot for my repertoire of profanity, but not for my nerves.
I had a lovely pasta dinner with Richard, Mom and Carlie, and tried to go to bed early. I had been doing so all week to get myself on an early morning schedule and it worked well...I slept remarkably well the night before.
The Morning Of
The 4:30 a.m. wake-up call was not too painful. I had been really organized with my race items, so getting ready did not take me long. I watched the news while I ate breakfast (hard-boiled egg, bagel with peanut butter, banana and a little Nutella, chocolate milk) and didn't think too much about the race other than feeling prepared (in terms of my equipment and organization).
We drove to the race site at 5:15 wondering who we knew who would be awake. We assume only those on the East Coast with kids were probably up. (sorry for you!) When I started walking my stuff toward the transition area, the nerves kicked in. The Johnson Beach-front had people walking all over, standing in line for bathrooms and getting ready. I racked my bike and laid everything out and found Kim, who was right near me on the rack. We laid our stuff out and got in line for the restroom with Richard. All the while, the nerves were growing. I was looking at the muscles on people around me and just kept thinking I was underprepared and the first thoughts that I would not finish started creeping in. At one point, I was staring at the river thinking "this is the dumbest thing I have ever done."
There have been times, early in the training, when I had delusions about having a good race – I am a life-long competitor. But I had finally, after weeks of self-talk, convinced myself that as long as I finished before the 11:00 p.m. cut-off time, I would be happy. And really, there is no other way for me to have gone into this race.
As we were in line for the restroom talking, a woman behind us asked Kim and me if it was our first race. The women had only done one other one - in Switzerland! - and she said as long as we trained, we'd be fine. Kim seemed to feel better...but I immediately started thinking about the mental health day I took....the injury that stopped my running for a month over the holidays....the track workouts I nixed for a road workout....the fact that I let my weightlifting fall off..... I was really anything but confident.
Time flew by and we were still in line when they announced that the first heat of men needed to get lining up soon and if they were in line for the restroom, they'd better move to the front. I was not even in my wetsuit yet...the adrenaline started to flow as my dreams of being late to the race started to surface as I panicked I'd still be in line for the bathroom when my wave started.
The Swim – 2.4 Miles
Time was fine and we made it through set-up and into our wetsuits and down to the beach. The first wave of men went off at 6:30 a.m., followed by 2 more waves five minutes apart before the entire field of 160 women took to the Russian River. The river was warmer than expected, which was fantastic. This race is historically hot, so the fact that it never got out of the lower 80s was fantastic! The horn blew and off we went.
I had never done a straight 2.4 mile swim, and frankly swimming in a pool is not the same as swimming against and with currents and over the 3 waves of men in front of me. I had done 2 Olympic tri’s this summer and on the .9-mile swim I was just under 25 mins. So, adding in the distance, I figured 1:15 at best and 1:30 at (hopefully) worst. I did not see a clock out of the water, so I went out on the bike having no idea how I did. Only at the end did Richard tell me I had swam it (climbing over tons of people and walking 25 yards when the river got to be about 2 feet deep at the turn-around point) in :59.
The Transition
I got out of the water intent on following the advice I had read that said that a slow transition is best, to allow your body to adjust to the shock of having swam that distance and then getting on to a bike. I had a ‘stripper’ take off my wetsuit (one of the fun moments of the race) and went off to look for my bike…which strangely was not on the first two racks I looked at! I was apparently discombobulated. But I found it eventually and changed and headed out. Transition, even with the brainfuzz: 5:59. I’m pretty proud of myself for that….and happily surprised. Here was a piece of great advice….there was a small hill right off transition….I ran it instead of biking it….good decision.
The Bike – 112 Miles
The bike started at the beach, headed out for about 8 miles and then into a loop racers did twice, passing and then ending at Windsor High School, 15 miles from the start. There was a nasty sharp turn 5 miles into the race (just past the Korbel winery…had it been opened, I might have stopped!) and as I approached it, the volunteer directing traffic told me I was about 6 minutes off the lead women. I thought “don’t tell me that, I am here to finish, not to be competitive.”
The hills I had seen on the scout the day in the car were somehow not as bad on the bike, though I am guessing it had a lot to do with adrenaline.
I was wearing a watch and I completed the first half of the bike in 3:15. I was initially thrilled, but I kept trying to convince myself that I needed to dial it back or I was going to die on the run. Turns out, my legs don’t listen to me. I did the second leg in almost the same time.
The bike went through some gorgeous country and beautiful wineries. I was thinking of Richard, mom, Carlie and my friends Debbie and Scott, who might have been out wine tasting. I had given them an estimate of my time - I was hoping to average 15 mph - but I was doing much better than that, so they did not see me at any points until the transition to the run.
Among the advice I had gotten was all about fueling and hydrating, and it was advised to try to do a lot of the solid food fueling on the bike. Now, my road bike is ‘older’ – i.e., a 2001 model. It’s steel, not carbon, and is heavy compared to most contemporary bikes. This is likely to be the only IM I do, so I did not see the point in investing in an expensive new bike. I had trained on it, I was comfortable on it and, while I was tempted by lighter bikes, I had bought into the “I just want to finish” mentality and I did not figure a new bike would make a significant difference. When I was training, I carried all my fueling and hydrating sources in a commuter bag. During the race, there were 4 aid stations on the bike and at one you could leave a ‘special needs bag’ with food that you could stop and pick up. This was perhaps an area I should have done more investigation.
During my Olympic triathlons this summer I tried some ‘new formula’ Gatorade at an aid station and it was TERRIBLE and upset my stomach. But I was lucky that it was only a 10K run, so I was fine with just water. I was concerned that the supplies at the aid stations in the race would not be compatible with my stomach…which would be a race ender. So I hauled all my own stuff. I got a few remarks on my stuff, but I carried the commuter pack to have all tools for tire changing, 3 water bottles and food for the race that I was used to.
It turns out that would not have been needed in this case. The Gatorade Endurance and the food would have supplemented 2 water bottles and food I carried in my bike shirt just fine, but I didn’t now…so I had the extra weight on my bike. But how much it might have affected me is speculation at this point….I had hoped to finish in 7:30 – 8:30 hours, and I finished in 6:25.
This was also the point at which my lack of driving the entire route hurt me. Near the ending of the loop was a nasty hill that was bad the first time around….the second loop I knew it was coming and I feared it…and it hurt.
This was my first IM, so I cannot say if maybe I just went too fast, expended too much energy. I was concerned about my pace, but I was kind of excited about my time. That damn competitor in me coming out. My inexperience rearing its ugly head. Richard and crew were at the school waiting to see me off on the run. I decided to change into dry clothes, though I may not have needed it….but I had already pinned my number to a new jersey and so I changed. I had an idea of how well I had done on the bike, but still no knowledge of the swim and so no real knowledge of overall time.
The Run – 26.2 miles
The marathon was a 3-loop out and back from the school along some fairly country roads. It was a great route for spectators to see participants multiple times, and an excellent opportunity for participants to feed off the excitement of the crowd. People lined the last first/last half mile of the run and it made for a great energizer.
My first loop hurt. I chalked it up to the challenge of running after biking that distance. I felt okay – my fueling and hydrating strategy on the bike had worked. I did it in 1:31. But the muscles were sore. I walked the hills and the 4 aid stations (which I hit on both the out and back) and was rather unhappy about my progress. The second loop felt a lot better than the first and I felt like I was going faster than on the first. At a minimum I was running more. Yet, it was almost the same: 1:32. The third loop was a killer, 1:44. When I walked, I tried to walk no slower than 15-minute miles. I know I was good at that until my watch battery died. Then I THINK I kept up no slower than that pace. I still did the marathon in under 5 hours, but I won’t lie about my disappointment. I blame my training. I should have done more track workouts…..I should have pushed my running harder.
Because of the course design, I saw my personal fans on each loop and I saw a lot of the same people on the run. It was inspiring to see all the people I had seen at check-in – all ages, all body types – pushing themselves, working to finish, fighting their own demons, achieving their own goals. There was the para-athlete, there was the guy with the prosthetic, there were the Team-In-Training members. There was the 19-year-old I had traded positions with on the bike. There was the 71-year-old who impressed the hell out of me. There was Arkady, the leader of my running group, who had offered advice and support that made all of the difference, kicking butt for Team-In-Training. (Thanks Arkady!) I tried to cheer them all on. I tried to exchange pleasantries, supply encouragement. I saw Kim on each loop…and we shouted at each other with enthusiasm. We were Ironwoman.
The Finish
When I was within that last mile, I wanted to run. I was pushed by the crowd. I fed off the noise and applause (more cowbell please!). More than once that day, I was moved to tears, and now the waterworks started. Within sight of the school, I looked for my personal cheerleaders. In the last 50 yards, my mom handed me some pom poms my dad and step-mom had given me for Christmas as a show of support. The announcer proclaimed “there is nothing wrong for cheering for yourself” – not that I needed it….there were all kinds of supporters and I soaked it in. I paused at the finish line for the professional photographer, and finished with an official time of 12:20:49. 4th in my age group, 20th out of the women, 147th out of 683 athletes. The I hugged Richard, and bawled my head off.
The End
The end, and the days that follow, are strange. When you think about it – tell someone, look at your finishers medal, write a blog – you feel pride. But the rest of life goes on. You don’t have a scheduled workout, you’re not feeling stressed, you’re just done. It’s a weird feeling, almost anti-climactic. But when I feel weird, I think back to the moment I crossed. To my friends supporting me. To the feeling of accomplishment. I will now always be an Ironman Finisher…..it is a feeling I wish on all of you.
Major Thanks
This would not have been possible had it not been for the myriad people – both close to me and ‘strangers’ on chat boards – that expressed support and encouragement. I did absolutely think about that during the race. It is invaluable - and I hope I have the opportunity to pay it forward in spades. But some should be singled out:
Suzanne, Sunghee and Wendy – I greatly appreciate your mementos….they were in my transition pack before the run….and I did look at them and it did move me. Make no mistake….your gesture was very much needed and appreciated. Your thoughtfulness is powerful.
Kim – you came into my life on the internet, nothing more than a screen name and then an email. But you supported me in my darkest moments of doubt and I appreciate that immensely. Sharing this with you made it even more special….I am so proud of your accomplishment.
Dad and Ruth – I’m not sure which was more helpful, the pom poms or the Entra Strength Tylenol, but I greatly appreciated them both!
Arkady – Your willingness to share your experience and fantastic advice made the difference in my day. You are a mentor in every sense of the word and I know so many people owe their success to you…..including – especially - me.
Scott and Debbie – seeing your smiling faces cheering me on was more helpful than you know. The fact that I could smile after running those loops was because of your presence that lifted me up. I am touched by your support for me and you must believe me when I say your presence made a huge difference.
Mom and Carlie – Your support from the beginning and on-going encouragement carried me through. Your willingness to come all the way from Florida and spend part of your vacation tracking me around Sonoma was amazing. Seeing your faces at the finish made my day. I am so happy that I shared this experience with you both.
Richard – I know you think I am nuts and I don’t have much evidence on my side to argue against that. But I never, ever, would have accomplished this without you and I will forever be grateful for the love and support you give me. I love you most.
Thanks to you all for reading…….AJ….Ironman Finisher.
Wetsuits do not equal sexy!
Off we go!!!
Out of the water and out of the wetsuit!
On with the bike shorts! Quality shorts = good investment for 112 miles!
That was POM bike shirt courtesy of Richard....I love it! Powered my POM Wonderful!
I am not in this picture, but here's an idea of the bike.
Really...he could have NOT taken this picture. But I had to change!!!
Trying to push the transition!
Back on the first loop of the run. See all the spectators? Fantastic!
I loved the finishing line. Crossed with the pom poms....celebrating for myself!
J Sparkling Champagne.....the only way to celebrate!
