17 days left and the mental battle emerges

I wish I felt more confident, but the truth is I am scared to death.

I am honestly terrified I won't finish.

I am looking back and nitpicking the day I slacked here, the mental health day I took there. I've biked 100 miles one day, ran 18 another day - but don't feel like it's enough. There will be several more of these posts with increasing fear and anxiety I am sure and I apologize now for being whiny about something that - yes - I voluntarily signed up for and am paying to do.

This is the last week of 'intense' training before the 2-week taper. I am already thinking of modifying the program a little bit since it only calls for 4:45 biking this weekend and I think I should do another Century. (Which will take me more than 6 hours) I admit I am having a hard time thinking that what I have done is enough. But these are the mental things I cannot let pull me down.

I got some great advice from an article lately I desperately need to remember...#1 especially:

The Four Keys of Long-Distance Triathlon
1. Execution
It bears repeating: Race day is about execution, not fitness. We measure good execution by your ability to run well off the bike. There is no such thing as a good bike followed by a poor run. The simple fact is that the difference between a "slow" and a "fast" bike on race day is only about 15 minutes. If you've made the mistake of riding too slowly, you now have 26.2 miles of running to fix that mistake. But if you have made the mistake of riding too fast, that mistake now has 26.2 miles to express itself. And it will, usually to the tune of walking 18- to 20-minute miles for 8, 10, 14 miles as opposed to just continuing to run. Now you are going backwards through the field to the tune of hours!

2. The Line
Everyone will reach a Line on the last leg where continuing to run at the same pace, or just continuing to run at all, will become very, very difficult. Your focus on Execution above is critical to help create conditions for success at the Line. Success at this point it defined as not slowing down.

3. The Box
Your method of executing and creating conditions for success at the Line is to use your Box. The space inside this Box is defined by what you can control. Nutrition, for instance, is inside the Box because you can control when, how, and how much you eat. Weather and other athletes, on the other hand, are outside of the Box since you can't manipulate these factors, only adapt to them.

4. The One Thing
As your race day continues, you will eventually hit the Line. It's at this point that your body begins to debate, very loudly, with the mind. Unless you have a very clearly defined goal or compelling reason why you must continue, your body wins and your day will start...to get...very...long. Keep this goal or motivation in mind and use it as a lifeline that will bring you to the finish.